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Writing Samples
Band 6

The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems? What measures can be used to solve these problems?

#movement #people #areas #cities #work #places #measures
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Nowadays, a large number of people choose to live in cities rather than
countrysides
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
, and
this
 change causes several
problems
 in both places. In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss
problems
 caused by
this
 and examine possible ways to address these
problems
.
To begin
 with, there are two
problems
 that caused by the change.
Firstly
,
overpopulation
Correct article usage
the overpopulation
show examples
 of urban
areas
 is a serious matter.
For example
, land prices of urban
areas
 have increased significantly since the demands for lands in cities expand.
In addition
 to
this
, traffic
problems
 are
also
 caused by overpopulation,
such
 as traffic jam and rush hours.
On the other hand
, depopulation in rural
areas
 is critical as well. In fact, around 800 local governments are recognized as an endangered community, including Akita where is predicted to disappear within 30 years. I believe that there are two possible ways to address those. At
first
, authorities have better encourage people who live in metropolitans to move to the countrysides. They are able to continue their jobs and maintain relations thanks to the development of the Internet and related technologies. As well as, the government should enhance lives in agricultural
areas
. As the youngsters move out from
such
 places to cities for the sake of earning more money, it is vital to create occupations in agricultural
areas
 and make farming more effective. To conclude, there are two issues caused which are overpopulation in metropolitans and depopulation in the rustic
areas
. To tackle these
problems
, enhancing people to move out to the countrysides and promote local works
such
 as agriculture are essential.
Submitted by maho.140126 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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