Traditional ideas from older people about the way to live and behave are not helpful to young people and their futures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It’s argued that of
long standing
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long-standing

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claims of elderly
people
about the way to live and behave
are
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is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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not beneficial anymore to juveniles,
therefore
, young
adults
generally
opt out
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opt-out

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of giving their ears to older
people
’s advice. I firmly believe that there is a defensible basis for
this
argument
,
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apply

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since the world which elderly
people
knew has altered so much and they are struggling to catch new trends and concepts.
First
and foremost, it’s obvious that young
adults
usually have more braveness in their spirits than
adults
and they tend to seek their passions even in tough positions more luckily.
Hence
, they’re more enthusiastic to take risks and learn from them. Much as
this
fact sometimes leads them to be careless individuals, juveniles still evaluate challenging situations with an optimistic as well as
open-minded
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the open-minded

The noun phrase open-minded approach seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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approach in order to learn from their errors and commence again. Most
of
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apply

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elderly
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the elderly

The phrase Most of elderly people may require the use of the article the. Consider inserting the before the noun in your sentence.

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people
do not follow the latest trends of business models or lifestyles,
besides
their actions and future plans are profoundly pertaining to their previous experiences and past beliefs so that they are not acting so willingly as young
people
to venture
a
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into a

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new project and adapt their lives to new lifestyle models. In most cases, it goes without saying that juveniles have gained more knowledge than many
adults
and older
people
these days, especially in the fields of technology and finance on the grounds that using the internet more effectively. To sum up, I personally opine that many traditional approaches of older
people
about life and future have become invalid anymore so that the advice they give younger
people
are a far way from being helpful.
Submitted by haticecoza on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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