There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

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Nowadays, the importance of

courses

not related to studying i.e. physical education, cookery, etc. is easily overlooked as there is enormous stress on students to thrive academically.

As a result

, some folks believe these non-academic

courses

should be taken off the curriculum. I firmly disagree with

this

idea and the forthcoming paragraphs will provide a detailed explanation to support my understanding. To commence with, not all students have similar strengths and capabilities. Some excel in intellectual

courses

while

others have a forte in subjects involving hands-on knowledge.

For instance

, it was found by a survey conducted by the Cricket Board of India in 2023 that 84% of Indian cricketers incepted their sports journey from their Schools.

Hence

, removing these

courses

will snatch the opportunity from young children who have a good understanding of sports, cooking and other physical activities. Probing

further

, having involved games and other activities as a part of studying drives motivation in kids to go to

school

Nevertheless

, it had been hard for parents to send their kids to

school

but if they were to just work on academic

courses

school

then

it would kill the passion of even the studious learners to study. An example of

this

can be the fact that on days like Sports Day or Annual function, all Canadian schools have seen the most participation from the young folks as they do like activities that are not solely based on studying.

Therefore

, these subjects are crucial to encourage the building blocks of a generation to just go to

school

. Agglomerating the aforementioned highlights, it seems advisable

to conclude

that taking non-academic

courses

off the

school

syllabus will not only suppress kids that have talent not related to studying but will

also

lead to a lesser number of children going to

school

on a regular basis.

Submitted by karanmehta37872 on Sat Sep 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on ensuring that each paragraph maintains a steady flow of arguments and explanations. Occasionally, the transitions could be smoother to improve coherence.

task achievement

Expand on the supporting examples to provide a more comprehensive understanding. For instance, providing more detail about the role of non-academic subjects in overall student development would strengthen the arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and structured introduction and conclusion, which enhances readability.

task achievement

The main ideas are relevant to the topic and are generally well-developed with appropriate examples.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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