IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance at school, while others received too much pressure from there over enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child. Why do you think parents put too much pressure on the children to perform well at school? What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child’s education?

#children #encouragement #parents #performance #school #pressure #impact #child #role #parent #child’s #education
While there are some
parents
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
show examples
 not show any interest in their
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
show examples
 educational progress at
school
, there are others who are over caring
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the extinct that could reflect badly on their
children
.
This
 type of
parents
 puts high stress on their youngsters because probably they have had
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 experience back when they were students.
Parents
role
 in the education of their
children
 must be a supervisory and supportive
role
 that completes the
role
 of the
school
 which is to teach and educate. As it is known, fathers and mothers always want the best for their
children
, and they do their best to fulfil their needs, especially for the things that they could not get or fulfil when they were younger.
Therefore
, they will push hard on their kids to drive them to do their best, especially in their studies, so that they can guarantee a good higher education and
therefore
 a good career that pays well and satisfies their needs.
For example
, one of my classmates who was lazy at
school
 and did not make it to the university,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
struggled to find a job that pays his rent and family expenses, so he pushes his
children
 to focus and do their best at class so that they do not face the problems he is facing now. To be honest, I think the
role
 of
parents
 in pupil’s education is vital and it is to complete the
role
 of teachers. Teachers
educate
Change the form of the verb
educated
show examples
 in class and
parents
 follow up at home.
Parents
 must be monitoring their
children
 behaviour inside and outside
school
. Not only that, but they must make sure that they are doing their homework on time and help them finishing them if needed. To conclude, there are
parents
 who stress their kids to highly perform in their studies to have
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future, while there are others who are careless.
Nevertheless
,
parents
role
 in the educational progress of the students is vital and completes the
role
 of the teachers.
Submitted by on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: