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Writing Samples
Band 6

A longer prison term as a way of punishing those who break the law is not as good as other methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Imposing sentences is widely accepted as a method to punish those commit
serious
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a serious
the serious
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 offence and sometimes as a correctional method.
This
Linking Words
 approach may be effective, but we should
also
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 consider other ways to reform
offenders
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. A long
prison
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 sentence means that those who violate laws will lose freedom for a prolonged period of time, a consequence that no rational person is willing to take. The criminal record can have a lasting impact on their lives including their career. They will not commit crimes when they realize the problems that ensue;
instead
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, they will choose to find work or run a small business to earn a living.
This
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 can help create a peaceful and safe community. While I agree that a long
prison
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 term may sometimes help us fight crime, we can consider community service as an alternative.
This
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 punishment can make some
offenders
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, especially those who committed minor crimes, law-abiding citizens. They can learn how to act as meaningful members of
community
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the community
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 by cleaning streets, removing graffiti and tending gardens, and realize that they can contribute to
society
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. If they are sentenced to
prison
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, they will possibly make friends with other
offenders
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. They will not repent or take stock of their lives, so they may
reoffend
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re-offend
 after being released, which can pose a threat to other members of
society
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. We can
also
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 provide educational opportunities and vocational training for them, improving their interpersonal skills and job skills. It is worth noting that many juvenile
offenders
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 or
first
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-time
offenders
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 broke the law because of a lack of social experience or low socio-economic status. Crime is no longer an option, if they can obtain
an
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apply
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employment and understand legal responsibilities. The
prison
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 can isolate criminals from
society
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, shattering their confidence in finding work and reintegrating into
society
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. To summarize, I agree that the harsh penalty can deter crime, but it is not the best approach. The focus should be on changing the behaviour of
offenders
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 and helping them function as productive members of
society
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.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation programs
  • community service
  • reintegration
  • consequences
  • restorative justice
  • reconcile
  • deterrence
  • recidivism
  • cost-effective
  • public safety
  • offender
  • criminal behavior
  • root causes
  • reintegrate
  • sentencing
  • constructive
  • economic costs
  • short term
  • preventing future crimes
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