A longer prison term as a way of punishing those who break the law is not as good as other methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Imposing sentences is widely accepted as a method to punish those commit
serious
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a serious
the serious

The noun phrase serious offence seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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offence and sometimes as a correctional method.
This
Linking Words

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approach may be effective, but we should
also
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consider other ways to reform
offenders
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. A long
prison
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sentence means that those who violate laws will lose freedom for a prolonged period of time, a consequence that no rational person is willing to take. The criminal record can have a lasting impact on their lives including their career. They will not commit crimes when they realize the problems that ensue;
instead
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, they will choose to find work or run a small business to earn a living.
This
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can help create a peaceful and safe community. While I agree that a long
prison
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term may sometimes help us fight crime, we can consider community service as an alternative.
This
Linking Words

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punishment can make some
offenders
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, especially those who committed minor crimes, law-abiding citizens. They can learn how to act as meaningful members of
community
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the community

The noun phrase community seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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by cleaning streets, removing graffiti and tending gardens, and realize that they can contribute to
society
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. If they are sentenced to
prison
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, they will possibly make friends with other
offenders
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. They will not repent or take stock of their lives, so they may
reoffend
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re-offend

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after being released, which can pose a threat to other members of
society
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. We can
also
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provide educational opportunities and vocational training for them, improving their interpersonal skills and job skills. It is worth noting that many juvenile
offenders
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or
first
Linking Words

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-time
offenders
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broke the law because of a lack of social experience or low socio-economic status. Crime is no longer an option, if they can obtain
an
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun employment in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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employment and understand legal responsibilities. The
prison
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can isolate criminals from
society
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, shattering their confidence in finding work and reintegrating into
society
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. To summarize, I agree that the harsh penalty can deter crime, but it is not the best approach. The focus should be on changing the behaviour of
offenders
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and helping them function as productive members of
society
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation programs
  • community service
  • reintegration
  • consequences
  • restorative justice
  • reconcile
  • deterrence
  • recidivism
  • cost-effective
  • public safety
  • offender
  • criminal behavior
  • root causes
  • reintegrate
  • sentencing
  • constructive
  • economic costs
  • short term
  • preventing future crimes
What to do next:
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