IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Problem and Solution Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world’s facing today.What are the cause of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue?

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Introduction
become one of the most pressing issues facing the world today. The primary causes of
this
Linking Words
 problem are
carbon
Use synonyms
emissions
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 and deforestation. To address
this
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 challenge, governments should invest more heavily in public transportation and promote environmentally friendly alternatives.
Body paragraph 1
One of the main causes of global warming is
carbon
Use synonyms
emissions
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.
Due to
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 rapid technological advancements, people have become increasingly dependent on natural resources
such
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 as fossil fuels for electricity generation, heating, and transportation.
As a result
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, large quantities of
carbon
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 dioxide are released into the atmosphere, contributing significantly to climate change. Another major factor is deforestation. Many trees are cut down to produce paper products or charcoal for cooking purposes.
Consequently
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, the number of trees available to absorb
carbon
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 dioxide is reduced, which
further
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 accelerates the accumulation of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere.
Body paragraph 2
To tackle
this
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 problem, governments and public institutions should adopt more sustainable practices.
For example
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, hospitals and government offices could rely more on electronic records rather than consuming excessive amounts of paper.
This
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 would not only reduce environmental damage but
also
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 help preserve natural resources.
In addition
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, authorities should allocate substantial funding to public transport systems in order to decrease people's dependence on private vehicles.
This
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 could significantly reduce greenhouse gas
emissions
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while
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 promoting a more sustainable environment. In the United Kingdom,
for instance
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, an increasing number of commuters use the underground network for their daily journeys.
As a result
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, reliance on private cars is reduced, leading to a smaller
carbon
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 footprint.
Conclusion
In conclusion, global warming is a serious issue
that is
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 largely caused by
carbon
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emissions
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 and deforestation.
However
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, governments can mitigate
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 effects by investing in public transportation and encouraging more sustainable practices,
such
Linking Words
 as the use of digital records. These measures can play a crucial role in protecting the environment for future generations.

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task response
Answer both parts fully. You explain the causes well, but the action part could include more work that people can do at home, such as using less power, driving less, and planting trees.
task response
Keep the link between each cause and each answer clear. For example, after deforestation, give an action that protects forests, not only one that uses less paper.
task response
Make the main ideas more full with one more clear result or real case. The example about the UK supports public transport, but there is no similar example for saving trees or using less paper.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, causes, actions, and end. Keep this plan, as it makes the answer easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between the two main parts. A short line at the start of the action paragraph, such as “These causes can be cut in several ways,” would make the move smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long. Split a few of them into two shorter sentences so that each idea is easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider set of simple linking words. You use “As a result” and “In addition” well; also try “For this reason”, “At the same time”, and “This means” where they fit.
task response
You give two clear causes: carbon emissions and cutting down trees. You also give useful actions, including better public transport and less paper use.
task response
The UK underground example is on topic and clearly shows how public transport can cut car use.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear job, and the ideas move in a natural order from causes to actions.
coherence and cohesion
The end sums up the main points and gives a clear final message about the future.
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