It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Every year the governments of the world spend hours on ends accounting how to use their budget effectively, Correspondingly, the subject of health is often debated, some individuals contend that money should be prioritized for the prevention and promote better living standard
instead
Linking Words
of squandering their fund on palliative cares. There are certain pros and cons to each approach. From my perspective, I think we should tackle the problem from its roots. By and large, many would agree that prevention is better than cure. There are enormous positives to spend more on health education to promote a healthy lifestyle. Were
such
Linking Words
a strategy implemented the number of people suffering from preventable illness would decrease,
For example
Linking Words
, the risk of over-eating, and thereby leading to ailments
such
Linking Words
as diabetes or heart disease, is present in many countries, if people were more health-conscious ,
such
Linking Words
sickness can be minimized
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
proposal can have a devastating effect on the people who were already suffering from an illness.
First
Linking Words
and foremost, when fewer funds are available for the treatment of other fatal diseases, it can increase the mortality rate of the illnesses.
For instance
Linking Words
, if researchers were not given a sufficient amount of money to develop a cure for types of disorder, it can have a ripple effect on society. Notwithstanding the problems mentioned, the promotion of a healthy lifestyle should still be given more care. The reason being that we can allocate the money that was previously used for treating preventable conditions to serious ones. To conclude, the investment in the betterment of a healthy lifestyle has many benefits including a decrease in the prevalence of diseases which should save an abundant amount of revenue. Problems with creating a cure for other infirmities can be rectified by administering capital smartly.
Submitted by nhathoang.161286 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • chronic diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • public health campaigns
  • lifestyle-related illnesses
  • quality of life
  • health-conscious society
  • allocate funds
  • balanced healthcare system
  • comprehensive healthcare strategy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: