IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities world- wide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. How far do you agree with this opinion?

#study #time #people #internet #beings #communication #possibilities #world- #effect #interaction
Success
Add an article
The success
show examples
 of a student is often correlated to his
success
 as an adult. Being a student,
one
 must have
qualities
 like
dedication
 and memorization that helps them excel in their academics.
However
, I believe these are the same
qualities
 that help them achieve greater things in their professional career
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
show examples
 the time when they
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
 these
qualities
 play a major role.
To begin
 with,
students
 have a limited scope of expanding ideas out of the syllabus or textbooks and children are forced to memorize the content they are taught.
Hence
 many
students
 are not willing to adapt to
this
 technique and end up performing badly.
For example
, definitions and theories do not allow
one
 to deviate from the concept forcing them to stick to mugging up. On the flip side, when you grow up
this
 quality of remembering the same thing helps you in a lot of professions and becomes the leading reason for enormous
success
. In professions like acting and stand-up comedy,
one
 must memorize the script to be able to achieve
success
.
Additionally
, there is another trait that helps pupils stick to higher performances in school.
This
 attribute is
dedication
 which helps
students
 to be focused on their goals and not give up even when there is
failure
Add an article
a failure
show examples
, while as
students
 they may not understand the value of hard work and
dedication
 due to lack of purpose.
For instance
, Steve Jobs was a college dropout, but his quality of perseverance helped him to build a
tech-giant
Correct your spelling
tech giant
show examples
 named 'Apple'. The inheritance of
this
 trait not only helps
one
 as a student but
also
 supports their long-term professional careers. As we all know,
success
 is no accident. It takes hard work,
dedication
, and passion
towards
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the job that we do. To sum it up, even though many
students
 fail to inherit the
qualities
 like memorization and
dedication
 in their childhood resulting in poor academic performance. Adaption of these same
qualities
 as adults help them achieve successful careers as adults
Submitted by nainayadav563 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital era
  • Social isolation
  • Cyberspace
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Face-to-face communication
  • Global village
  • Virtual reality
  • Remote connections
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Digital divide
  • Cyber-socialization
  • Screen time
  • Online networking
  • Physical disconnection
  • Social dynamics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: