IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Write about an important location in your country.

A wonderful and pleasant
city
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 called
Taunggyi
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 has amazing views attracting tourists to have a
visit
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. Even it is very populated, the
city
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 is garbage-free and possesses a beautiful culture. Many historical pagodas are worth visiting and can enjoy the skyline of
Taunggyi
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 from there. The climate is
also
Linking Words
 cool and pleasant.
Taunggyi
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, the capital of
Shan
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 State, is famous for the wealthiness of the
people
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, historical sites and excellent shopping facilities.
Firstly
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, most of the
people
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 in
Taunggyi
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 are Chinese and extremely rich due to their businesses, like textile, gold and jewellery commerce.
For instance
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, you can see many clothes shops and jewellery shops in the downtown area. The clothes are mostly from Thailand so it is worth buying. But, there is a rumour that the
people
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 in
Taunggyi
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 are wealthy especially by smuggling drugs.
Secondly
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, there are many historical sites around the
city
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.
For example
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, Sulamani Pagoda, Shwe Phone Pwint pagoda and Mya Sein Taung Pagoda are well-known pagodas around
Taunggyi
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. From these famous historic sites, you can wonderfully enjoy the
city
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 skyline.
Shan
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people
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 take sabbath at the monasteries on every full moon day and is
such
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 a beautiful culture which you can only see in
Shan
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 State.
Lastly
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, you will be satisfied if you go shopping in the markets of
Taunggyi
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. Various shops selling textile are greatly attractive to the visitors. Shopping in
Taunggyi
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 makes you
visit
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 there again.
Therefore
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, shopping or window shopping must be done during your
visit
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.
On the other hand
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, it is very expensive shopping. In conclusion,
Taunggyi
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 is the biggest and wealthiest in
Shan
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 State which is worth visiting during your vacation with your family or friends according to the reasons that I mentioned above. All in all, I strongly recommend you
Taunggyi
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 as an important location to
visit
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.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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