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Writing Samples
Band 7

What are the advantages and disadvantages while living in cities carry out them and give your opinion

#cities
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In
this
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 rapidly progressing universe, the majority of
people
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 prefer to live in
cities
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 in order to attain a higher standard of living and enhance their social status, so the migration of individuals from their native
places
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 to urban areas is found to be a usual activity.
Although
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 there are numerous
advantages
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 to living in
cities
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, there are
also
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 several demerits that have to be taken into consideration. In
this
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 essay, I intend to discuss both the pros and cons of living in
cities
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 and carry them out.
To begin
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 with, in recent days, it has been seen that the trend of
people
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 relocating from their native
places
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 to
cities
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 has immensely palpitated.
For instance
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,mainly youngsters who are in search of jobs and better opportunities come here to dig their fortunes. As we know,
cities
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 are the
places
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 where the majority of multinational companies are located,
as well as
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 various job sectors available;
therefore
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, the probability of acquiring a high-profile occupation would be higher in
cities
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 than in other
places
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. To elaborate, families who are shifting to urban areas have the mindset that settling in a city would be beneficial for their children's future.
For instance
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, because
cities
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 consist of supremely standard educational institutions, schools, and academic centres, the quality of education that students acquire would be top-notch, and lots of sports academies are there in
cities
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, which will produce a bunch of sportspeople in the future.
Further
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,
although
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 there are
advantages
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 to city life, several demerits would be taken into consideration.
Firstly
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,
due to
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 the relocation of
people
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 to urban areas,the population would increase gradually.
As a result
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,the unemployment rate would rise
accordingly
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, and the lives of
people
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 would be in trouble, so pollution would arise
consequently
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, which may lead to various diseases, namely bronchitis and asthma. All things considered,
although
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 living in
cities
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 has
advantages
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, the disadvantages outweigh the
advantages
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. Urban life provides plenty of opportunities for
people
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 to upgrade their lives, but they should be aware of their own mental
as well as
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 physical health.
Submitted by pranavravi95 on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your essay position. A more direct statement of your view in the introduction would enhance clarity.
task achievement
Expand on the disadvantages by providing more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Transition smoothly between topics. Use a variety of linking words to enhance coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Review and possibly streamline your sentences for clarity and impact, avoiding overly complex or convoluted structures.
task achievement
You provided a well-structured argument, discussing both sides before stating your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of examples to illustrate your points, particularly regarding the advantages of city life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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