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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think single sex education is beneficial for children's development.Do you agree or disagree this statement and why?

#people #sex #education #children #development
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As education is crucial
on
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in
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21st
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the 21st
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 century, many parents are confused about whether to send their children to
mixed
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mixed-gender
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gender
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school
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 or
single
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single-gender
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gender
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school
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. I believe teaching them in
single
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single-gender
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gender
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school
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 is more profitable for their future. On the one hand, some people believe that
seperating
Correct your spelling
separating
 both
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sex
Change to a plural noun
sexes
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 would have some drawbacks when
students
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 are taught.
School
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 is
Linking Words
first
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the first
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 footstep
about
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in
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 social interaction. If they talk with
only
Add an article
the only
show examples
Add a hyphen
same-sex
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same
Correct article usage
the same
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sex
Use synonyms
, both of them could not understand each other and even have prejudices and stereotype due to
absence
Correct article usage
the absence
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 of communication.
In addition
Linking Words
, they who went to the one
gender
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school
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 would suffer from hazards in making amicable social relationship in
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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 or
universary
Correct your spelling
university
. In fact, some people who entered a work coexisted both
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gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
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 are
iclined
Correct your spelling
inclined
 to close
single
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single-sex
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sex
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 one.
Thus
Linking Words
, it would have
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of social ability.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others argue strongly that educating
single
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single-sex
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sex
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 only would give
students
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 more benefits.At
first
Linking Words
, the most remarkable reason is
comfortable
Correct article usage
the comfortable
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 environment. They don’t need to be conscious about
opposite
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the opposite
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sex
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. In fact, many
mixed
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mixed-gender
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gender
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school
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’s
students
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 suffer from low concentration of their study and
low
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a low
show examples
 score(grade). It’s mainly because most young age groups
such
Linking Words
 as adolescents are fascinated
in
Change preposition
by
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 sexuality. So, it
make
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makes
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 them distracted and not focused on their
school
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 life. That’s why if they study with
same
Add a hyphen
same-gender
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gender
Use synonyms
 classmates, I assume they would concentrate on it and get many sakes. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
single
Add a hyphen
single-sex
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sex
Use synonyms
 education has some faults to
students
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, I personally believe teaching them by dividing with two groups would be effective in achieving
good
Add an article
a good
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 outcome and have more merits.
Submitted by gustj8760 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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