The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

These days, there is a common belief that the most important issue that threatens humans is the rise of the human population. I disagree with
claim and I think the greatest threat to humanity in the 21st century is the lack of clean
. The primary cause of population growth is an imbalance between births and deaths. Thanks to advancement in medicine and technology, infant mortality has decreased significantly.
In addition
, lifespans are increasing around the world means that those of us who are alive today will likely live much longer than our ancestors.
As a result
, we are faced with resource depletion and environmental degradation. Lack of
directly affects humanity's existence by reducing harvests and destroying critical infrastructure which leads to displacing communities.
For example
, in Afghanistan,
scarcity and reduced harvests have pushed people into poverty and malnutrition. To sum up, I disagree with
assertion that the biggest problem is overpopulation. I think what should be addressed
and foremost is
scarcity ,
Add a comma

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase otherwise. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
the consequences will be catastrophic.
Submitted by azin.ra97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Check your IELTS essays
After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Check IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2 Online
Just type your IELTS essay and receive a clear, detailed report and band score in a moment.