Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions

is often argue

Change the verb form

is often argued

show examples

that successful

sports

players can earn

huge

Correct article usage

a huge

show examples

amount of money, while others believe that it is unfair for

people

who are important professions in other careers.

This

essay will be discussed both views and shared my opinion.

To begin

, there are several reasons why many famous

sports

professionals can receive a lot of money. One important reason is that

people

who become

sports

players have to work hard in their

practise

Replace the word

practice

show examples

in order to get great results. They have to up their skills

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all the time because it can affect a

country

reputation

For example

, in every

each

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

competitions

Change to a singular noun

competition

show examples

, many

people

focus on them, so they have a lot of pressure. If they can get the best score in their competitions, they can build a

reputation

for their

country

Although

athletes can make fame, other professions

also

have important roles in the

country

However

, some claim that it is unfair to

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

are not

sports

stars because there are many careers

contribute

Correct pronoun usage

that contribute

show examples

more to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

For instance

, high professionals like doctors can make a good contribution to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society by treating sicked and injured

people

. scientists

also

can make fame by publishing new discoveries and inventions.

Furthermore

, if any countries have crime, the person solving problems is

police

Add an article

the police

show examples

. It is clear that these jobs are necessary but not build a

reputation

. All in all, each career has different roles. In my opinion, the successful

sports

professionals deserve a lot of money

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because building the

reputation

makes many

people

know that

country

better.

Submitted by p.n.fongnam on Fri Jun 11 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some believe that installing CCTVs in high crime areas help to reduce crime. What are the advantages of this?

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Some People Feel That Entertainers Such As Film Stars, Pop Musicians Or Sports Stars Are Paid Too Much Money. Do You Agree Or Disagree? Which Other Types Of Job Should Be Highly Paid?

The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decade. This has made oversea travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.