Studying art in school improves students' performance in other subjects because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

The ability to tell the difference between
right
and wrong is crucial for
children
, helping them stay away from
wrong
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the wrong
show examples
path during growth. One way for them to learn
this
ability is to punish them when they do something wrong. As my concern, I agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
punishments
should be given to
children
with wrong behaviour and
thus
the kids can establish good recognition of
right
and wrong.
Firstly
, the feedback of being punished for misbehaviours will constrain a child’s
future
actions and make them fear
to do
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doing
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the same
things
again. Without
punishment
Add a comma
,punishment
show examples
children
will never know the cost of doing wrong
things
.
For example
, a child punished for stealing other kids’ candies will no longer do that in the
future
because his parents and teachers will punish him or his classmates will mock him. These bad lessons learned in childhood will shape a child’s
future
behaviour. Since
children
are capable of distinguishing between
right
and wrong, they are more likely to do
right
things
when they grow up and led a moral life, contributing to social harmony on the whole.
On the other hand
, appropriate
punishments
instead
of
sever
Correct your spelling
severe
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ones should
be exert
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be exerted
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
. Excessive
punishments
, actions that may be harmful to kids’ mental and physical health, only cause countereffects, which may destroy their faith and interests
on
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in
show examples
the
things
they do and inhibit their talents
on
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in
show examples
specific fields. In conclusion, plausible
punishments
can help
children
to differentiate between good and bad, shape their
future
in a moral way and build a better world in which kids will not be spoiled
in
Change preposition
at
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young age.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Critical thinking
  • Motor skills
  • Creativity
  • Perspectives
  • Emotional outlet
  • Cultural appreciation
  • Global awareness
  • Historical art movements
  • Spatial intelligence
  • Curriculum overload
  • Non-competitive
  • Exposure
  • Cross-disciplinary benefits
What to do next:
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