Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults . Do you agree or disagree

#people #crimes #adults

Nowadays, most crimes are committed by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

juveniles. Many people believe that

punishment

for any

crime

committed by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenagers

should be the same as the

adults

. I agree with the statement and

this

essay will discuss my views in the forthcoming paragraphs. To reckon with, laws for teens are very subtle and they feel free after

commit

Change the form of the verb

committing

show examples

a big

crime

and do

furthermore

offences. In Europe, there is no

punishment

for under teens even if they kill someone. Due to

this

they become careless and criminals at a younger age. In the daily news, I have seen that most offenders are juveniles.

For instance

, In India, in the Times square newspaper, I read

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

news in which six

teenagers

raped a minor girl and

then

killed her brutally. The government does

does

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

not punish them because there are no

punishment

laws for the younger age people.

Moreover

, when the criminals of younger age will get the same sentence as

adults

then

there are the chances of reducing the

crime

rate by juveniles. They will have fear of strict

punishment

and they will not commit the

crime

For instance

, In some ,countries

teenagers

are sent to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rehabilitation but after releasing they again commit

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes. So, the same

punishment

adults

is the only solution to reduce

crime

among people under 18. To conclude, I am completely in agreement with the statement that the

crime

rateof

Correct your spelling

rate of

a long juvenile could be reduced if

adults

and

teenagers

will get the same

punishment

. If they have fear of strict

punishment

they will not commit offences.

Submitted by Rajwinder Kaur on Sat Jun 12 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults . Do you agree or disagree

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governmnents must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

The nuclear family is well adapted to moving due to its size. Do you think children benefit in any way from moving? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvanta

‏In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. ‏Do you think this should this be enforced in all schools?

These days, in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?

In some countries, there are fewer young people who listen to or play classical music these days. Why is this? Should young people be encouraged to play or perform classical music?