IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

#people #person #skills #group #activities
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Some people might think the act of getting involved in multi-individual activities mostly focuses on the advancement of our intellectual
abilities
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. I completely disagree with
this
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 notion and the ground for my perspective shall be discussed in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, team games clearly require
individuals
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 to perform a diverse range of rapid mental calculations.
This
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 is because, in a sporting context, players must predict and anticipate possible actions within tight time constraints.
For example
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, a recent Cambridge
study
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 showed that soccer players can – within the span of seconds – calculate over a dozen different permutations that could result from a single soccer-related action.
Such
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 predictive powers clearly improve players' mental
abilities
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 and result from activities performed in a
group
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 context.
Secondly
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,
study
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 groups enable
individuals
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 to obtain information that they could not acquire in isolation.
This
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 is because peer feedback allows
individuals
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 to refine their understanding of concepts and to
also
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 learn new information from other members of the
study
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group
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.
For example
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, a
study
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 by The British Institute for Learning found that, if
individuals
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 participated in
study
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 groups, they had a far more objective and sophisticated understanding of a topic than learners who were not part of
study
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 groups.
Therefore
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, it is certainly the case that learning in a
group
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 improves an individual’s mental
abilities
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. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the notion that
group
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 activities improve intellectual
abilities
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. In the future, we will certainly see schools take greater measures to ensure that more
group
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-level cognition occurs in the classroom.
Submitted by caivankihh779 on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity by restating your position clearly in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Try to provide slightly longer introduction to better set the stage for your arguments.
task achievement
The essay presents well-supported points, with specific and relevant examples such as studies from Cambridge and The British Institute for Learning.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introductory statement and conclusion, maintaining coherence and providing a sense of closure.
coherence cohesion
Logical flow and structure are effectively maintained through the use of connective devices and transitions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • intellectual skills
  • group activities
  • collaborative learning
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • diverse perspectives
  • creativity
  • individual study
  • personal reflection
  • autonomy
  • learning styles
  • approaches
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