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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both view points and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Choosing the right workplace is a significant decision, and
people
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 tend to weigh different factors.
While
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 some prioritize a high salary as the most critical aspect, others argue that a supportive and positive working atmosphere carries more long-term value.
This
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 essay will examine both views and explain why I believe a healthy
work
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environment
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 is ultimately more beneficial than financial incentives alone. On the one hand, a high salary can be a strong motivator for many individuals. It allows
people
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 to meet their financial obligations, save for the future, and enjoy a higher standard of living. For those with families or debts, income becomes more than a preference—it is a necessity.
Moreover
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, a well-paid position is often seen as a marker of professional success and status. In many cases,
people
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 endure high-stress jobs simply because the financial rewards are substantial.
On the other hand
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, a positive working
environment
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 plays a crucial role in an employee’s mental health, job satisfaction, and long-term performance. A toxic or high-pressure workplace can lead to burnout, reduced productivity, and even physical health problems.
In contrast
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, when employees feel respected, valued, and supported, they are more likely to be motivated, creative, and loyal.
For example
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, companies like Google and Salesforce invest heavily in creating inclusive and collaborative
work
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 cultures, which leads to higher employee retention and satisfaction—even if their salaries are not the highest in the industry. In my opinion,
while
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 financial stability is undoubtedly important, it should not come at the expense of well-being. A healthy
work
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environment
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 not only improves day-to-day life but
also
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 contributes to long-term career growth and personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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.
People
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 perform best when they feel emotionally safe and inspired, not just financially rewarded. In conclusion,
although
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 a high salary can bring comfort and financial security, a positive working atmosphere leads to greater happiness and sustained success.
Therefore
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, I believe that
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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environment
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 should be the deciding factor when choosing where to
work
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.

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coherence
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea to enhance clarity.
task achievement
While your examples are strong, incorporating a wider variety of examples could further bolster your argument.
coherence
Your essay has a well-defined structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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