IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #business #company #organization #reason
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Nowadays, being an entrepreneur is worshipped by many young people. Some of them chose to be independent with their own ventures and decided to leave their employers. In my opinion, there is merit and demerit of
this
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 decision since becoming a businessman is not only money and position. On one hand, I will talk about the benefit of being a
business
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 owner. Time flexibility is one of the reasons why leaving a company and building an empire gives us more time than being office workers. In the office, we need to follow the office
hours
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 and many times, we work extra
hours
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 if we have some workloads. In comparison, being an owner means you can calibrate the working
hours
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 based on your availability.
For example
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, content creators or digital nomads who are working in any places. They can adjust their
business
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hours
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 without any restriction from employers.
On the other hand
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, if we choose to develop a new
business
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 venture, means we need employees to support and run the
business
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.
Therefore
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, our responsibility becomes robust and as an owner, we need to manage our employees' welfare.
However
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,
this
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 could be a setback when your
business
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 encounters financial issues.
For example
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, many people become unemployed due to the economic recession during the Covid-19 pandemic. So that, being an entrepreneur requires a big round plan to overcome obstacles. In conclusion to have our own
business
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 gives us more flexibility especially in times, which are consumed more while working in a company.
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, a plan in financial is needed in order to secure the
business
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 and the people who
also
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 work for it.
Submitted by hanizachri on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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