IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other people believe that access to the internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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As the
Internet
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 plays a vital role in modern society, it is inevitable for there to be debate over whether it should be provided for free. Some
people
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 consider the government should provide
Internet
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 access for free,
while
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 others believe it should be charged like other services.
This
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 essay aims to discuss both views,
along with
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 my agreement with the second opinion.
Firstly
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, since the
Internet
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 has become a necessity in recent decades, some
people
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 have expectations about the authorities
to provide
Change the verb form
providing
show examples
 it for free. To some extent, it would be truly beneficial to the public by cutting down the cost associated with the high demand for the
Internet
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.
For example
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, there is a high proportion of
people
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 who enjoy an abundance of audiovisual streaming, which requires a fluent and high quantity of
Internet
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 resources. Once the
Internet
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 becomes freely accessible, the public could save a significant amount of fortune.
However
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, accessing the
Internet
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 without a threshold might cause negative consequences.
On the other hand
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, most services are required with monetary exchange to maintain
qualities
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quality
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, and the
Internet
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 should not be an exception.
Moreover
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,
people
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 are responsible for what they consume, ensuring the sustainable development of network capabilities.
For instance
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, the efficiency of the
Internet
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 that
people
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 can use depends on the price. Those who pursue productive online experience might need a higher speed, being charged more is reasonable.
Overall
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, I'd rather be charged in order to gain a better user experience. In conclusion,
although
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 free access to the
Internet
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 does provide some benefits, it is crucial that services be charged to protect
qualities
Fix the agreement mistake
quality
show examples
 and development.
Therefore
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, I believe
people
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 using the
Internet
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 should pay for it,
thus
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 improving the network system with responsibility and sustainability.

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task achievement
To achieve higher scores in Task Achievement, consider integrating more diverse and specific examples to support your arguments. Referring to actual case studies or statistical data could add weight to your points.
coherence cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, ensure each paragraph maintains a clear logical flow. Using varied transitional phrases between sentences and paragraphs will further enhance the readability and structure.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the two opposing views and states your opinion, making it easy for the reader to understand the essay's direction.
coherence cohesion
You have logically structured your essay with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint and a concise conclusion that mirrors your introduction.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported and show a good understanding of the topic, contributing to a coherent and cohesive essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • right to access
  • essential resources
  • digital economy
  • social equity
  • government responsibility
  • privately funded infrastructure
  • market dynamics
  • personal responsibility
  • fundamental right
  • user fees
  • innovation
  • economic growth
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