IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people living in cities these days do not get enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? What are the SOLUTIONS?

#people #cities #exercise
It is often thought that the majority of
people
 living in
cities
 tend to be disproportionally unfit, compared to the rest of the population, when it comes to physical
exercise
.
This
 phenomenon is often associated with busy schedules and a lack of free
time
. We will discuss some possible causes and solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 trend. One of the main causes of city inhabitants not getting enough
exercise
 could be the unavailability of free
time
 most
people
 living in
cities
 struggle with, so regular physical
exercise
 tends to be ignored as a priority. It must be said that
people
 with busy schedules tend to dedicate whatever free
time
 they have to see their friends or families, to more pressing matters, or to just
saving
Change the form of the verb
save
show examples
 some
time
 for rest and relaxation, all of which tend to be of greater importance to
people
. Another problem that may be getting in the way of city inhabitants getting enough
exercise
 could be the availability of public transport in
cities
 and
people
 not spending as much
time
 on foot as they would
otherwise
. As
people
 living in
cities
 tend to spend less
time
 walking because public transport makes that unnecessary, the walking distance tends to be much shorter.
Therefore
, it seems that busy schedules and the availability of public transport could be contributing to city inhabitants not getting enough
exercise
. Regarding possible solutions, probably the most realistic measures that could be taken are raising public consciousness about the risks and benefits of physical
exercise
, and the small manipulations of public spaces that could potentially drive
people
 to engage in more
exercise
.
For instance
, cardiovascular benefits of regular
exercise
 could be mentioned more frequently in advertisements, marketing, or public spaces. Spreading more public awareness about the positive effects of
exercise
 on depression and general wellbeing could be a good strategy. Creative solutions could be helpful in order to encourage
people
 to take the steps
instead
 of elevators and escalators.
In other words
, there are numerous measures that could be taken in order to encourage
people
 to
exercise
 more.
Submitted by siamak on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: