Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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When you enter into a university, you have the chance to research and learn what you are truly curious about. Some students tend to concentrate on their basic courses and others want to stick their necks out of it and get to know more about other subjects. In my view, there shouldn't be any limit to educating more, if have the capacity. In
this
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essay, I will examine both attitudes and introduce my standpoint.
Firstly
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, It seems that the type of personality which contains more energetic and curious characters may be more likely to take various courses in their educational periods.
For instance
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, I as a person with
this
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personality, always want to participate in different architectural workshops
besides
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my main subjects and I have never regretted it. In my view, you just in
this
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way can broaden your horizon and if you never try new things, you will never know what you truly want to pursue for
further
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education.
On the other hand
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, some students prefer to focus on their core studies as they can deepen their knowledge. To build upon my point a little more, I had friends who did not attend any workshops or conferences only if they related to their exact measure. They are somehow selective persons and in a short period of time, became masters of a specific area of architecture.
Although
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they've got significant education in that, they hardly can participate in different architectural meetings. In
this
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measure especially, you should have a wide attitude toward so many aspects of architecture and life in order to have the ability to design better spaces for people. To put it in a nutshell, there are advantages to both methods of study at universities but in some measures
such
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as architecture, it is more important to try to broaden your horizon in order to design better.
Submitted by shabnamoutokesh on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the logical flow between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose effectively but could benefit from more impactful language and a clearer summary of your main points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your main points are supported, but they can be strengthened with more varied and detailed examples, particularly real-life scenarios or statistics that could bolster your argument.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, fully address all parts of the prompt. Make sure to discuss both views thoroughly before presenting your own opinion.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are clear, but aim to expand on them further, providing more comprehensive explanations that delve deeper into why those views might be held.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more relevant examples that are specific to the subject area being discussed. These can be hypothetical situations or references to actual cases where branching out into different fields or specialization has been beneficial or not.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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