IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people eat junk food these days, which is not good for health. This problem has become more among young people these days. What are the caused and solutions for this trend?

#people #junk #food #health #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Use synonyms
Food
Correct article usage
The food
show examples
 Industry has grown tremendously in the
last
Linking Words
 few years as most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 the younger generation are getting fond of eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 rather than
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
 dishes.
Certainly
Add a comma
,Certainly
show examples
 there are various reasons for
increase
Add an article
the increase
an increase
show examples
 in the trend and remedies which can be
adopted
Correct your spelling
adapted
show examples
 to control the same in order to promote healthy eating habits. Changes in the lifestyle of the majority of the population who are living in the cities
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 apparently been one of the main cause of
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of junk
food
Use synonyms
. The fact that people are spending more time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
commuting and working for extended hours at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 has left no time for cooking
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 most of the urban households. Unfortunately, unhealthy eating habits
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 resulted in serious health ailments like obesity, high cholesterol etc. To exemplify,
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
 survey conducted by WHO has revealed younger and
middle aged
Add a hyphen
middle-aged
show examples
 persons are getting more prone to
heart related
Add a hyphen
heart-related
show examples
 diseases. The plausible solution to control the
Correct your spelling
overconsumption
show examples
over consumption
Correct your spelling
overconsumption
show examples
 of unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 is definitely to produce organic substitute
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the fatty ingredients being used in
such
Linking Words
 kind of delicacies being served at restaurants. It has been proved by studies done by
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
 department that 95% of individuals who have adopted the
nutrient rich
Add a hyphen
nutrient-rich
show examples
 diet plans are able to reduce their body weight in just 3-4 weeks. In conclusion, the lack of time and easy availability of fast
food
Use synonyms
 has become a critical reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 affecting
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 system adversely.
However
Linking Words
, if every individual follows the appropriate diet, it would surely bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy changes in the human lifecycle.
Submitted by swatidgr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • junk food
  • unhealthy eating habits
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • obesity
  • food marketing
  • awareness campaigns
  • nutritious meals
  • meal planning
  • balanced diet
  • healthy snacks
  • nutritional value
  • physical activity
  • education programs
  • self-discipline
  • sustainable habits
  • long-term health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: