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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Hobby
Change the article
A hobby
show examples
 is an important form of activity
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can bring happiness and comfort to mankind during their leisure
time
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, there is only a minority of
people
Use synonyms
 who completely spend
time
Use synonyms
 on it. There
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
 to be some reasons why and a variety of damage effects on each person and the group of community, which we will discuss here. Probably, the main factor is the issue of lacking
time
Use synonyms
. Because of the upswing in the economy, many
people
Use synonyms
 make an effort to work and study to afford the cost in their daily life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
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making money and knowledge, reducing their recreation
time
Use synonyms
, leading to high chances of being exhausted and less interested in hobbies.
Moreover
Linking Words
, due to the development of technology,
people
Use synonyms
 seem addicted to the Internet and electronic devices. Little by little, the
time
Use synonyms
 for what they are truly keen on has declined. Less
devoting
Replace the word
devotion
show examples
 to hobbies may cause a huge number of problems. For individually, should the
time
Use synonyms
 for pursuit and relaxation be limited, there will be a downswing in dopamine (hormone of happiness) in our body, causing a higher rate of psychological issues, likely to decrease work performances.
In addition
Linking Words
, unless
people
Use synonyms
 keep passionately using technology , their health problems (
diabete
Correct your spelling
diabetes
, short-sightedness, visual impairments) can easily be healed.
For instance
Linking Words
, according to a survey, 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of students in a province of Vietnam have short-sightedness because of using technical devices for a long
time
Use synonyms
. For society, not spending
time
Use synonyms
 on some entertainment activities can lead to a limit in social networks.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the economy can be affected negatively resulting in the falling productivity of an organization. In conclusion, we see that being too busy and wasting
time
Use synonyms
 on the internet are the main reasons
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and that the effect on both each person and community are worse by health problems and the economy.

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Devote time
  • Hobbies
  • Nowadays
  • Busy
  • Fast-paced
  • Lifestyles
  • Work and career
  • Technology
  • Digital entertainment
  • Limited
  • Free time
  • Lack of motivation
  • Mental wellbeing
  • Physical wellbeing
  • Decreased
  • Social interactions
  • Creativity
  • Self-expression
  • Negative effects
  • Society
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