Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Obesity in the younger generations is becoming increasingly problematic, especially in Australia where approximately 33% of youth suffer from preventable disease.Some people suggested that

schools

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should be responsible for the prevention and treatment of their pupil's weight issues by monitoring their food intake and

exercise

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This

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essay will discuss why I completely disagree with the proposition because it is far too draconian. The main reason why Australian educational institutions should not monitor their pupil food intake and

exercise

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output

Change the verb form

are

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because it is not their job; it is the job of the parents.

Schools

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are responsible for education, and they can certainly educate

children

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on the value of nutrition and

exercise

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, but watching what they eat and how much they

exercise

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is not in their purview.

For example

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, it would be far too invasive for a teacher to ask students what they have been eating at home and how much they have been exercising.

This

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would lead to all sorts of problems with parents and teachers even though it may yield results. In short, parents should remain responsible for raising their

children

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healthily while

schools

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should focus on educating them. A secondary reason why

schools

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should not meddle with

children

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's diets and

exercise

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regimes is that it may have negative psychological impacts on the students themselves.

Although

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teachers are excellent role models for

children

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, again, it is not their role to monitor their health. If a teacher were to single out a student for being overweight,

for instance

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, it could have profound negative effects on the student including isolating them from their peers and promoting bullying. Even if a student is obese, a teacher should not reference

this

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in the classroom and certainly not ask them about their eating and

exercise

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habits. Clearly,

this

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is a bad idea.

This

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essay discussed why academies should not be part of a child's prevention or treatment for obesity because it is not their role and it may cause mental problems for the child at hand. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the proposition that childhood obesity is the responsibility of

schools

Use synonyms

Submitted by ash.fuji2018 on Tue Jun 15 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

349 words

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Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Everyone of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered and some are even facing extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What can be done to deal with this problem

Some people say that parents should spend time on reading or telling stories to children, while others think parents no longer have to do this because there are other sources for stories such as books, TV, and the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that we learn best through in person interaction with the teacher in a classroom. Others believe that learning is more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In some countries, prison is seen as the solution to crime. However, some people believe that giving people a better education is a better way to prevent them from committing crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these ideas? Give your opinions based on your knowledge and expeiences.