Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Obesity in the younger generations is becoming increasingly problematic, especially in Australia where approximately 33% of youth suffer from preventable disease.Some people suggested that
schools
should be responsible for the prevention and treatment of their pupil's weight issues by monitoring their food intake and
exercise
.
This
essay will discuss why I completely disagree with the proposition because it is far too draconian. The main reason why Australian educational institutions should not monitor their pupil food intake and
exercise
output
is
Change the verb form
are

It appears that the singular verb is does not agree with the plural compound subject The main reason why Australian educational institutions should not monitor their pupil food intake and exercise output. Consider changing the verb to the plural form.

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because it is not their job; it is the job of the parents.
Schools
are responsible for education, and they can certainly educate
children
on the value of nutrition and
exercise
, but watching what they eat and how much they
exercise
is not in their purview.
For example
, it would be far too invasive for a teacher to ask students what they have been eating at home and how much they have been exercising.
This
would lead to all sorts of problems with parents and teachers even though it may yield results. In short, parents should remain responsible for raising their
children
healthily while
schools
should focus on educating them. A secondary reason why
schools
should not meddle with
children
's diets and
exercise
regimes is that it may have negative psychological impacts on the students themselves.
Although
teachers are excellent role models for
children
, again, it is not their role to monitor their health. If a teacher were to single out a student for being overweight,
for instance
, it could have profound negative effects on the student including isolating them from their peers and promoting bullying. Even if a student is obese, a teacher should not reference
this
in the classroom and certainly not ask them about their eating and
exercise
habits. Clearly,
this
is a bad idea.
This
essay discussed why academies should not be part of a child's prevention or treatment for obesity because it is not their role and it may cause mental problems for the child at hand. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the proposition that childhood obesity is the responsibility of
schools
.
Submitted by ash.fuji2018 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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