IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

People living in big cities face many problems. What are the problems? Should the government encourage people to live in regional towns?

#people #cities #face #government #towns
In order to live an epicurean and sumptuous
life
,
people
 are interested to move to larger
cities
, resulting in facing a large number of problems in their personal lives.
This
 is why the living tendency in urban
areas
 is of growing concern as it impacts both the physical and mental well-being of individuals. I
nonetheless
 deem that
however
 abysmal the situation is,
such
 a menacing inclination can be tackled if governments could instigate
people
 to live in rural or suburban
areas
. There are many difficulties
people
 have to bear down to living in big
areas
.
First
, continuous deterioration of
health
 is the predominant concern of urban citizens. To be more precise, residents of large
cities
 are more suffer from
health
-related issues,
such
 as asthma, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, to name but a few due to the high level of pollution, availability of unhealthy food and so on. Another most appalling problem is that mental
health
 is being affected significantly down to living a solitary
life
 in big
cities
, The cogent reason for
this
 is that
people
 in
cities
 have hectic schedules down to compete in the dog-eat-dog world; as a consequence, they cannot budget enough time to make friends so as to express their thoughts and feelings, causing suffering from depression. To cite an example, an empirical study conducted by Oxford University reveals that 80% of urban residents suffer from anxiety, inferiority and other mental problems.
Hence
,
cities
’
life
 has detrimental effects on physical and mental
health
. To reverse
this
 undesirable state of affairs, governments ought to exhort
people
 to live in regional
areas
. The notable reason for
this
 is that the level of environmental pollution is comparatively low there and
people
 can do exercise to fit them. Apart from that, due to having close neighbourship, individuals can mingle with others easily that will obviously bring mental peace. To exemplify, in China because of the government’s incentive 60% of citizens live in outskirts
areas
, and those
people
 are more healthy and happy than other parts of individuals.
Thus
, in order to make healthy and happy citizens, governments must encourage
people
 to choose regional
areas
 for their dwelling. In essence, because of environmental hazards and busy
life
 in big
cities
,
people
 invariably suffer from many
health
 problems that can be contained by provoking
people
 to live outside the big towns.
Submitted by shawlin90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: