In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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People in various countries have different perspectives about whether living away from their loved ones on gaining work experience is beneficial or whether it is a wasteful time for themselves.
This
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essay will discuss two notions and give reasons why I prefer the first option. On the one hand,
this
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strategy is actually can be a burden for a person. As we move away from our initial house and stay in a new place, we have to separate from our family and friends. We may be easily bored when we get home
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since we do not have any person to talk to about our long day. In some periods of time, we
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might miss our closest ones, especially when we are having a bad day or experiencing a significant event at our new job.
Although
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we can connect through virtual meetings these days, they won't be there directly to give a hug, affirmation words, or any activities as a support system.
On the other hand
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,
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trend is
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beneficial from the standpoint of developing independence. Living alone requires us to become more responsible for ourselves, as we can not always rely on other people.
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, we have to prepare food for daily activities alone. It can enhance the urgency to improve our cooking skills, buy and choose ingredients, explore a variety of recipes, or even buy instant foods.
Furthermore
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, moving alone is
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a driving factor for us to be more aware of our financial trends.
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, in order to survive for a month, we have to understand our needs
as well as
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track our income and expenses.
To conclude
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,
while
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living away from our main people entails challenges in having a support system for ourselves,
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trend contributes more to
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independencies and improves their value as a person.
Therefore
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, I contend that moving alone can be a good alternative as we are still at a young age.

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relevant specific examples
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. This can enhance the reader's understanding and provide more concrete reasoning for your arguments.
logical structure
Incorporate a clearer transition between the first and second main points in each paragraph for improved flow.
introduction conclusion present
The essay clearly presents an introduction and a conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
logical structure
Main ideas are developed and explored in a logical manner, making it easy to follow the writer's line of reasoning.
complete response
The essay discusses both the advantages and disadvantages, demonstrating a balanced approach to the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
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