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Band 7

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
Occupation is so important in
everyone
's
life
. Most human beings work for long
hours
 which result to have less time for leisure activities. In my opinion,
this
 is one of the biggest disadvantages in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
individuals'
show examples
life
. Some of the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 I will discuss below.
To begin
 with, most of the
people
 in our society prefer to work for long
hours
, so they can have a good income.
For example
, a survey conducted in Canada shows that international migrants working
hours
 exceed 50 in the week, which illustrates that they don't have time to relax or to do other activities.
Moreover
, working too much can
also
 affect your mental and physical health which will disturb your personal
life
.
Secondly
, it can
also
 affect your personal
life
 by not giving time to your loved one's as vacations are so vital in
everyone
's
life
.
Such
 as, a survey conducted in America shows that 70 per cent of
people
 who go on holidays twice a year were the ones with healthy mental
life
 as it relieves their stress.
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe that
money
 is the
way
 of happiness in their
life
.
For instance
, immigrates working in abroad for long
hours
 so they can send
money
 to their families for a better lifestyle.
Furthermore
,
everyone
 has their own
way
 of living
life
, some
people
 do need
money
 to fulfil their wishes, no doubt
money
 is an
imporatnat
Correct your spelling
important
 part of
life
 as it depends on every individual the
way
 they want to live. To sum up, according to my opinion,
money
 is an important part of
life
 but
money
 cannot buy happiness, but no doubt that
everyone
 has their own preferences to
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
the
way
 they want for some
people
money
 is everything.
Submitted by harneet692 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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