Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

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Occupation is so important in
everyone
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's
life
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. Most human beings work for long
hours
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which result to have less time for leisure activities. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
is one of the biggest disadvantages in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
individuals'
show examples
life
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. Some of the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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I will discuss below.
To begin
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with, most of the
people
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in our society prefer to work for long
hours
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, so they can have a good income.
For example
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, a survey conducted in Canada shows that international migrants working
hours
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exceed 50 in the week, which illustrates that they don't have time to relax or to do other activities.
Moreover
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, working too much can
also
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affect your mental and physical health which will disturb your personal
life
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.
Secondly
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, it can
also
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affect your personal
life
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by not giving time to your loved one's as vacations are so vital in
everyone
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's
life
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.
Such
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as, a survey conducted in America shows that 70 per cent of
people
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who go on holidays twice a year were the ones with healthy mental
life
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as it relieves their stress.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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believe that
money
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is the
way
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of happiness in their
life
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.
For instance
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, immigrates working in abroad for long
hours
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so they can send
money
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to their families for a better lifestyle.
Furthermore
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,
everyone
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has their own
way
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of living
life
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, some
people
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do need
money
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to fulfil their wishes, no doubt
money
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is an
imporatnat
Correct your spelling
important
part of
life
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as it depends on every individual the
way
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they want to live. To sum up, according to my opinion,
money
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is an important part of
life
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but
money
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cannot buy happiness, but no doubt that
everyone
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has their own preferences to
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
the
way
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they want for some
people
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money
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is everything.
Submitted by harneet692 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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