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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #art #children #school #waste #time
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While some people believe that teaching
art
Use synonyms
 to children is important, others, think it is just a waste of time. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss why studying
art
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 is important but
also
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 why some people think the opposite. Teaching
art
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 in schools could have a positive impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 children as it helps them to develop
creativity
Replace the word
creative
show examples
 skills that are necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 every activity or
job
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 later in life. In fact, especially at a young age, students
needs
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need
show examples
 to express their emotions and characters through artistic activities.
Moreover
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, studying ancient
art
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 as well as contemporary
art
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 might motivate some of them to become artists or
art
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 professors at university.
However
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, in
Correct your spelling
today's
today
todays
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today's
show examples
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
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 positions require a strong knowledge
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 mathematics. Because of
this
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, it is surely more important for young students to spend more time studying other topics
instead
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 of learning ancient
art
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.
For example
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, if you are very good at math you can apply for universities
such
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 as software engineering and you will probably find a
job
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 right after your studies.
In addition
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 to that, it gives you a better salary which in turn will allow you to be
indipentend
Correct your spelling
independent
 at a young age. To conclude, it is
importnat
Correct your spelling
important
 for children to study
art
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 and develop creativity,
however
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, in
this
Linking Words
 modern
world
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,world
show examples
 it is advantageous to spend more time learning math and
other scientific topic
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another scientific topic
other scientific topics
show examples
 as it will be easier to apply for a
job
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by manfredireale on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • cultural awareness
  • tolerant society
  • STEM subjects
  • employability
  • rigorous subjects
  • curriculum
  • school budgets
  • enriches
  • complements
What to do next:
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