IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ..................,

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Dear Mr. Johnson, I'm writing
this
Linking Words
 letter regarding the opportunity to work in our head office in the USA for half a year. I would like to explain why
such
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 an experience could be essential for me.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the head department is a major part of our company and working there could become a significant possibility to develop my skills and advance my career. During my absence, I will do my utmost to ensure that my work responsibilities are managed efficiently. I am willing to work with my colleagues to delegate tasks, and I will ensure that all documents are accessible to the team. If necessary, I will be available as well to assist in any possible way to help our office to progress without any obstacles. I was wondering if you would be able to provide your support to get
this
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 position. I would
also
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 like to extend my gratitude to you and I'm excited about the prospect of increasing my experience for our company I look forward to receiving your response. Sincerely, Dmitrieva Anastasia

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph centers around one clear main idea to enhance the structure and readability. Use a topic sentence to introduce the paragraph's focus, followed by supporting sentences that develop that idea.
task achievement
Provide more details on why working in the head office is crucial for your development and career. Expand on the benefits it would bring to both you and the company.
task achievement
Discuss more thoroughly the methods of how your work will be covered during your absence. Elaborate on contingency plans and how you intend to ensure a seamless transition.
task achievement
While the letter's tone is generally suitable, strive for consistent formality throughout to maintain professionalism.
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