Doctor, nurse and teachers make a great contribution to the society and should be paid more than entertainment and sports celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

#doctor #nurse #teachers #contribution #society #entertainment #sports #celebrities

It is believed that professionals from

healthcare

Correct article usage

the healthcare

show examples

and education department, who have been contributing to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society are underpaid in comparison to

people

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

showbiz and sports. I strongly agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

point as equal pay would be helpful in maintaining the morale of the professionals, which

further

would help in the growth of the nation.

Firstly

, the

people

employed in

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

system and education sector help in

overall

Correct article usage

the overall

show examples

improvement of the country, as doctors protect the citizens from diseases and teachers provide them with valuable knowledge.

Also

, many developed nations pay handsome salaries to the workers of these departments as they understand their value and support.

Secondly

well-being

Correct article usage

the well-being

show examples

department works odd hours in dangerous situations

such

as pandemics and epidemics, risking their lives in order to secure others.

Therefore

, it is mandatory to pay them for their contribution

towards

Change preposition

show examples

the welfare of the community. Every year many health workers lose their life while serving other and as tribute, the authorities must offer them with the required support. In conclusion, it is really important to consider the work these professionals are doing for the benefits of common

people

and should be paid equally well as

people

in other professions are being paid.

Submitted by swati.9489 on Fri Jun 18 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

203 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Doctor, nurse and teachers make a great contribution to the society and should be paid more than entertainment and sports celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugat, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Recent surveys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reason for this Trend and what will be the possible outcome from this behaviour? Provide example for your opinion.

Some people thick that the government should be responsible for improving public health. Others, however, believe that everyone should take part in this issue.

(VMN-Fixed)Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays more and more people are using smartphones and computers to communicate, so they are losing the ability to communicate with each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?