IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe social media is very important in our daily life, other believe it is waste of time. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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Social networking sites
such
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 as Facebook, Instagram or Twitter have evolved so that they become an indispensable part of our lives. They are considered by some to be beneficial for us; others assume the contrary.
This
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 essay will discuss both points of view before my closing verdict. On the one hand, social media is a major source of entertainment for
all
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apply
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people of all age
category
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categories
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. Some applications , YouTube,
for example
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 , provide us with
the
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apply
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content specific to our interests and the opportunity to group up society into the communities
according to
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 their outlooks on life.
Moreover
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, social networking sites can be very useful in terms of education and work.
For instance
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, the Microsoft Teams program allows schools and colleges to educate the students remotely retaining high quality. The same can be applied to the companies.
Therefore
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, positive feedback on the online medium is quite reasonable.
On the other hand
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, unlike in most public places , people can exploit the freedom they are given
in
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on
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 social media.
In other words
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, if someone behaves in an unacceptable manner , there is no one who would punish him.
For instance
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 , as racism is one of the hottest issues today ,many online users tease each other addressing their races knowing they can not be retributed.
Also
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, these issues might inculcate the wrong overview of life for very young people.Unfortunately , these trends make the sceptics of social media
be
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more adamant about their standpoint.
To sum up
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,
although
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 social networking sites have some positive impact on our lives, they are
also
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 detrimental to a certain extent.

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task achievement
While your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your essay's intention, it can be more engaging with a stronger hook. Consider starting with a general statement about social media's influence on modern life.
coherence and cohesion
In your body paragraphs, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that ties directly back to your thesis. This will help strengthen the logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
When discussing negative points, more specific examples could enhance your argument's impact. For example, you could reference real incidents or specific studies that illustrate the negative effects of social media.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of transitional phrases is effective in creating a logical flow between ideas, making your essay easier to read.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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