Some people think that a sense of competition should be encouraged in children. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

While some
peole
Correct your spelling
people
think that competition between
children
is positive, others, suggest that it is better to teach them how to
work
as a
team
. In
this
essay, I will
analise
Correct your spelling
analyse
both views and give my opinion. We live in a very competitive society, where competing with other people is part of our daily life.
Hence
, it is important for
children
to learn how to compete against others when they are at school, in order to be able to deal with
such
situations once they are adult.
For example
, individual sports are a good method to explain to young students how to be competitive and how
this
could be useful later in life. Many scientists believe that to be able to evolve as a human being there must be some rivalry involved.
However
,
although
being competitive is important, another key aspect in our society is to be able to
work
in a
team
and cooperate with others to achieve a specific goal.
Accordingly
, teaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
how to engage with each other, will
definetively
Correct your spelling
definitively
definitely
help them in the future.
For example
, when some of them will
work
in a
team
, they will surely be able to
work
side by side with their colleagues. For
this
reason, many companies organise special events for their employed, known as
team
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
. In my opinion, both these aspects are crucial for every individual, especially when
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
learn them at a younger age, it would surely be an
advandge
Correct your spelling
advantage
later in life.
However
, for what concern competition, it is important that nobody is forced into it. In fact, many
children
suffer from performance anxiety and
this
is something you don't want to be responsible
of
Change the preposition
for
show examples
. To conclude, in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
it was discussed wheater it is better to encourage
children
to
competiton
Correct your spelling
competition
or to teach them to collaborate with their classmates in order to be more productive once they are adults.
Submitted by manfredireale on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: