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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that a sense of competition should be encouraged in children. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #adults
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While some
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 think that competition between
children
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 is positive, others, suggest that it is better to teach them how to
work
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 as a
team
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. In
this
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 essay, I will
analise
Correct your spelling
analyse
 both views and give my opinion. We live in a very competitive society, where competing with other people is part of our daily life.
Hence
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, it is important for
children
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 to learn how to compete against others when they are at school, in order to be able to deal with
such
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 situations once they are adult.
For example
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, individual sports are a good method to explain to young students how to be competitive and how
this
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 could be useful later in life. Many scientists believe that to be able to evolve as a human being there must be some rivalry involved.
However
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,
although
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 being competitive is important, another key aspect in our society is to be able to
work
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 in a
team
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 and cooperate with others to achieve a specific goal.
Accordingly
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, teaching
to
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apply
show examples
children
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 how to engage with each other, will
definetively
Correct your spelling
definitively
definitely
 help them in the future.
For example
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, when some of them will
work
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 in a
team
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, they will surely be able to
work
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 side by side with their colleagues. For
this
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 reason, many companies organise special events for their employed, known as
team
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bulding
Correct your spelling
building
. In my opinion, both these aspects are crucial for every individual, especially when
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 learn them at a younger age, it would surely be an
advandge
Correct your spelling
advantage
 later in life.
However
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, for what concern competition, it is important that nobody is forced into it. In fact, many
children
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 suffer from performance anxiety and
this
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 is something you don't want to be responsible
of
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for
show examples
. To conclude, in
this
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essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 it was discussed wheater it is better to encourage
children
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 to
competiton
Correct your spelling
competition
 or to teach them to collaborate with their classmates in order to be more productive once they are adults.
Submitted by manfredireale on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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