IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems, people should be encouraged to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the country side. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed by a few
people
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 that the migration of
rural
Correct article usage
the rural
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population
Use synonyms
 to
cities
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 is a solution to traffic congestion and shipping issues. I strongly disagree with
this
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 narrative because there are many consequences of
this
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 movement.
Firstly
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, if more and more
people
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 from the suburbs relocate to the metro
cities
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, the pressure of
population
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 will increase in urban areas.
This
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 could result in massive traffic jams on the roads, causing more harm.
For instance
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, a rise in
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population
Correct article usage
the population
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 of the city would encourage all the
people
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 to use the existing resources and would cause a shortage ultimately.
Also
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, if more
people
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 start using the existing transport system, an overload could cause its breakdown and
further
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 worsen the situation.
Additionally
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, it would be difficult to manage the rise of
population
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 in
cities
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 and could hamper the daily activities of the citizens living there.
Moreover
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, there are limited employment opportunities in
cities
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 and adding more
population
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 will result in
increase
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an increase
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 in the percentage of unemployed
people
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.
Secondly
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,
instead
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 of solving the existing issues of congestion, it could lead to other issues in different sectors as well.
For example
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, if everyone moves to
cities
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, there would be a huge impact on the agriculture sector as there would be
no-one
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no one
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 to take care of agricultural activities,
such
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 as farming.
This
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 could
further
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 lead to other problems,
such
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 as inflation and
low
Correct article usage
a low
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 supply of basic necessity items.
Furthermore
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,
instead
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 of doing any good, the nation’s growth in other areas would
also
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 be severely impacted. In conclusion, migration
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people
Change preposition
of people
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 from rural regions will cause more harm and can even cause
collapse
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a collapse
the collapse
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 of the existing system.
Therefore
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, other options should be considered to tackle the problems related to traffic and transportation.

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