IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some say that it is preferable to make friendships with co-workers and arrange some gatherings outside the office,
while
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 others would argue that it is crucial to separate
work
Use synonyms
 and social life completely.
This
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 essay
would argue
Wrong verb form
argues
show examples
 that
although
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 separating the two lives is a safer choice for developing the person's career, having a good relationship with
work
Use synonyms
 colleagues is an important aspect in the
work
Use synonyms
 environment . On the on hand, it is a major concern by many that the mixing between their personal life and the
work
Use synonyms
 life would have more disadvantages than advantages,
that is
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 to say if you have a good relationship with a co-worker that would make him reliy on you to achieve their tasks,which would definately decrease your performance,
for example
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, Oxford university reported that the job environments with many friendships have lower performance by 12% compared to strict enviroments,
although
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 the drawbacks having good relationships with other workers have several advantages for improving performane and quality.
On the other hand
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, if your
work
Use synonyms
 colleagues admire you that would benefit you in different situations, if you get sick in someday your friend will do your tasks until you get better, or when you late because of a serious situation you have your friend will cover your role, in other world, people in friendly
work
Use synonyms
 evironment are getting better support and encourage their colleagues to develop,
for instance
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, a government survey in the US found that people in friendly workspaces are 23% happier in their jobs compared to workers in formal workspaces. In conclusion,
although
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 having friendships at
work
Use synonyms
 could affect a person's performance, it
also
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 introduces many benefits for the person's improvement.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and support it with details. This will help your reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Use clear examples to support your points. This makes your argument stronger and helps show your ideas clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling. Some small mistakes can make your writing harder to understand.
task achievement
You presented both views on the topic, which shows a good understanding of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points, which is very important in an essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cohesive work environment
  • work-life balance
  • renewed focus
  • interpersonal relationships
  • professional boundaries
  • fostering
  • blur the lines
  • burnout
  • networking opportunities
  • informal mentorships
  • career advancement
  • workplace dynamics
  • personal well-being
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