Some people think a country benefits from a large proportion of young university students, other think sending young people to universities only leads to graduate unemployment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #country #proportion #university #students #universities #graduate #unemployment

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It is often argued the issue, whether the countries get more benefits from a large number of graduate pupils or

this

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situation can lead to unemployment who youngsters. Viewing from the general perspectives,

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essay discusses both viewpoints, I strongly agree with the former opinion for the following reasons.

To begin

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with, the country gets more benefit from an enormous amount of university students. The pupils will be worked and served for their's country development when they finish their studies.

Moreover

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, many sectors can obtain revenue from undergraduate academy students

such

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as book publication, stationery, and etc.

For example

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, Canada and Australia earn a huge amount of revenue from educational institution-based. To be more precise,

this

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phenomenon can lead to extending more job opportunities from enterprise because

this

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is the foundation of getting work.

Hence

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, the state

obtain

Change the verb form

obtains

show examples

more advantages from the scholars.

Conversely

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this

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trend can lead to creating the cutback who graduate because within one year many young scholar out of university with a high standard of education ,

therefore

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, many pupils cannot find the job instantly

consequently

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, a large proportion of students live a sedentary lifestyle.

For example

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, India has more unemployment problems for the

last

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two decades due to college scholars have more soft skill rather than technical skill.

Hence

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, the cutback ratio has been increasing day

to day

Correct your spelling

today

show examples

. To conclude, certainly, the state obtains more valuable benefits from college junior whereas

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phenomenon can lead to finding a job difficult.

However

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, in my opinion about

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, certainly,

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trend is giving more benefits to the state in order to will improve to society in many ways. I hope

this

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trend is conducive for the

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generation.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Sat Jun 19 2021

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12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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