Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. What is your opinion?

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In the
contemprory
Correct your spelling
contemporary
era,
people
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are busy
in
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apply
show examples
proliferating
money
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with the
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
that it is a major factor of
happiness
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.While
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
believes
a
Change the article
an
show examples
amount of capital is not the only factor for being happy.In
this
Linking Words
essay,I will discuss why
money
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is not important to get peace of mind and
decribe
Correct your spelling
describe
how good relation helps to get
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
in life.
To begin
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with,
people
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who earn high wadge does not mean they are
more happy
Replace the words
happier
show examples
than
people
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who earn limited wadge. To elaborate
this
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, a lot of
people
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who has major
revanue
Correct your spelling
revenue
might be unhappy in their life because of family and work-life balance.
For instance
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, most of the developed
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
failing behind the developing nation in term of contentment index because they are stressed
of
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by
show examples
fast-paced
Add an article
the fast-paced
a fast-paced
show examples
culture of corporate.
Therefore
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, not being able to spend time for personal life, while
earn
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earning
show examples
lots of
money
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can never bring
happiness
Use synonyms
. On the flip side,
happiness
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is certainly bring
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is certainly brought
show examples
by the love and affection a man get
by
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from
show examples
their friends and family.to explain it
firther
Correct your spelling
further
,
money
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can bring
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
to enjoy
plessure
Correct your spelling
pleasure
, while few
people
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would enjoy
then
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own their own.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a person
get
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gets
show examples
Correct your spelling
handsome
handsom
Correct article usage
a handsom
show examples
amount of
salery
Correct your spelling
salary
but has no family or friends to
sahre
Correct your spelling
share
his
Correct pronoun usage
him
show examples
he would likely
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be
Correct your spelling
unhappy
show examples
un happy
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unhappy
show examples
.
thus
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being
surronded
Correct your spelling
surrounded
by
loving
Correct article usage
a loving
show examples
and
affectioned
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affection
show examples
family
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for family
show examples
is more important than
a
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an
show examples
amount of capital. In conclusion,
money
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is
import
Replace the word
important
show examples
to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
survival needs but has no role
on
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in
show examples
getting
happiness
Use synonyms
, as
plessure
Correct your spelling
pleasure
pressure
can
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from
money
Use synonyms
it will by having affectionate family and friends.
Submitted by manasvimahant on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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