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Writing Samples
Band 5

Watching television is bad for children. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

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Television is ubiquitous these days; I have not come across
single
Correct article usage
a single
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 household where there is no
TV
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. But is watching
TV
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 good for
children
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? Well, I am a strong believer that anything done in moderation is good and
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 goes with
children
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 watching
TV
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, with the omnipresence of
TV
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, it is impossible to keep
children
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 away from it.
Moreover
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,
TV
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 provides an efficient source of learning for
children
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 if
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
channels
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 are watched. We generally are able to grasp and remember more things when we see and hear rather than read
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 and here is where
TV
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 is really useful. These days we have different
channels
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 focusing only on
children
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 like cartoons or more educational
channels
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 like
animal
Add an article
an animal
the animal
show examples
 planet, discovery channel etc. All these
channels
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 help in educating
children
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 in an effective manner. It is often seen when the
children
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 are really young around 1-2 years, they react to
TV
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; whenever a song is being played, they start dancing, and they often listen to songs and starts singing.
This
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 definitely suggests that
TV
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 helps
children
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 in their development and make them active. Admittedly,
TV
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also
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 has some negative impacts on
children
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. Sometimes, they squander too much time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching
TV
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 and watching
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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channels
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 can
also
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 have a negative influence on them.
Therefore
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 it is of utmost importance that
parents
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 keep a close eye on their
children
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. With the advent of technology, we now have televisions with child lock system in place, which could prevent
children
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 from watching irrelevant and adult
channels
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.
Parents
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 should extol the importance of watching news
channels
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 to develop
overall
Add an article
an overall
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 general knowledge of
children
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. When I was growing up, my
parents
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 made sure that I watch the news for at least half an hour
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a day.
This
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 really helped me in improving my General Knowledge and I gradually developed
the
Correct article usage
an
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 interest in politics and
also
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 watching different debates and group discussions helped me
improving
Change the form of the verb
improve
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 my speaking skill and
as a result
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, I won several prizes in debates and quizzes at school and college level. In a nutshell, I think as every coin
Correct your spelling
has
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as
Correct your spelling
has
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 two sides, so does television. Watching
TV
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 in moderation and under
parents
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’ guidance is good for
children
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 entertainment and learning but it is important that
parents
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 keep a check on the
channels
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 that their
children
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 watch and the amount of time being spent on watching
TV
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.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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