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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that type of progress are equally important for a country.

#governments #progress #people #type #country
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While many authorities are of the opinion that
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 is a soul factor by which
countries
Use synonyms
 are able to develop, others believe that there are other factors
besides
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 the
economy
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 which play the same role l in communities’ improvement. On the one hand, having a growing
economy
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 may lead to progression in
countries
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 and governments should put their effort into fulfilling their economical achievements. Developed nations which have a high level of industrialization, their governments are more able to establish state–of–the–art facilities for their society.
As a result
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, the inhabitant of these
countries
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 is less likely to face some problems
such
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 as lack of medicines.
For
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instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 in some
countries
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 like Africa which has
an
Correct article usage
apply
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economical
problemproblems
Correct your spelling
problem problems
, people always die due to health problems.
Moreover
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, economic progression usually leads to a low unemployment rate.
Countries
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 with good infrastructure provide their residents with the golden opportunity to find a high paid job because companies generally are not under financial problems.
On the other hand
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, there are a lot of industrialized
countries
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 where have social
problemsproblems
Correct your spelling
problems problems
problem problems
.
For instance
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 in America, people are allowed to use a gun in public places. Many tourists and natives usually do not feel safe.
Furthermore
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, when it comes to morality, people are more satisfied when they live in
countries
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 with a fair system.
For instance
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, the female who live in Arab
countries
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 where have a good
economy
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 generally do not feel happy because there are some gender discriminations. Safe societies and equality are some factors
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 have a profound effect on
countries
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 progress. In conclusion, from my perspective,
although
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 the
economy
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 help
countries
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 to develop, other factors
such
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 as behavioural issues and social issues are as important as the
economy
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.
Submitted by maryamhfhf on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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