Some people work harder than other.Why is this?Is this a positive or negative habit?

Many People indeed work

hard

Rephrase

harder

show examples

than others because today's competitive era requires extra

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

to be successful in life. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

is a positive habit for the following reasons. First off, the number of opportunities in any field is not growing as fast as our population is accelerating across the globe.

For example

Linking Words

, the number of jobs generated per year is very

less

Replace the word

low

show examples

as compared to the graduates completing their graduation every year.

Secondly

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the limited resources, many universities have set admission criteria for higher studies.

For instance

Linking Words

, in India for professional courses like engineering and medical courses, there is an entrance exam to filter out youth with lower ranks.

Therefore

Linking Words

to get a good job and for a better

lifestyle

Add a comma

lifestyle,

show examples

many work

hard

Rephrase

harder

show examples

than others.

This

Linking Words

is a positive habit because

this

Linking Words

has become a part of life in

this

Linking Words

competitive world. Take,

for example

Linking Words

, an IT professional

Correct pronoun usage

who is

show examples

required to deliver beyond what is expected out of his job

then

Linking Words

only he will be promoted to the next level

Change the punctuation

show examples

Additionally

Linking Words

, the world needs various

breakthrough

Fix the agreement mistake

breakthroughs

show examples

for many diseases

such

Linking Words

covid19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

and cancer, so if people

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

adapt themselves to

this

Linking Words

habit

then

Linking Words

only they might be able to succeed one day. So of course

this

Linking Words

is a positive trend for the betterment of society.

To conclude

Linking Words

, in my opinion,

this

Linking Words

is a positive development

this

Linking Words

will not only help to alleviate the worsening conditions of society but

also

Linking Words

help with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

survival in

this

Linking Words

tough world with the limited jobs and education opportunities available for those

only

Rephrase

apply

show examples

who are willing to go beyond the average task.

mayur.gupta44

Jun 21, 2021

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Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay could benefit from providing clearer transitions between ideas to enhance flow. Try using more linking words or phrases for smoother transition.

Task Achievement

While your examples are relevant, consider incorporating more varied examples that represent different perspectives to further enhance the depth of your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The introduction provides a clear and concise overview of the essay's direction.

Task Achievement

You’ve effectively used specific examples to support your argument, making your points more compelling and tangible.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and reinforces your stance on the topic.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Some people work harder than other.Why is this?Is this a positive or negative habit?

İn some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both two views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays number of older people select to live in retirement communities with other rather than living with their adults. Is it a positive or negative.

In order to solve traffic problems,goverments should tax private car owner heavily and use the money to improve public transportation .what are advantages and disadvantages of such a solution.