Some people think that it is best to encourage children to leave their family home as soon as possible. Others believe children should stay at the family home for as long as they like. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #home

When the youth are motivated to live separately at the earliest years itself is divided society into two as some think that it would bring benefits while others consider it damages fabrics of community. Personally, I think that

this

development has more advantages than minor disadvantages, and

this

essay will discuss both perspectives and conclude

accordingly

. On the one side, supporters of children living alone after a certain age point out that

this

could enhance the overall development of the younger generation.

In other words

, the graduates, who started to residing away from their parents, often learn many life skills: how to cook, manage budget, pay bills, keep a work-life balance and so on. Eventually,

this

group seems to have a strong knowledge of the complexity of life and its management.

Otherwise

, if they did not expose

such

situations, they would unlikely to learn the basics of the nature of a living.

On the other hand

, despite the above-mentioned positive, there are few problems

also

identified.

Firstly

, the newly-separated from

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

family may be influenced by illicit relationships resulting in anti-social behaviours

such

as; drug addiction, alcoholism, betting and

such

-like.

However

, rarely do we see these since the youth are equipped well enough to counteract the effects of any potentially damaging friendships and influences. Another problem is the lack of support from loved ones, which is just an argument due to the fact that these children are mostly contacting parents whenever they require as they have no animosity between them;

therefore

, these justifications hardly stand their own. As far as I am concerned about looking

both

Change preposition

at both

show examples

perspectives, I firmly believe that moving children from

family

Add an article

the family

show examples

house allows them to become independent, responsible rather than its negligible drawbacks. In conclusion,

although

people have various opinions on encouraging the younger ones residing away from parent’s house, in my opinion, it would result in many positives.

Submitted by Sal on Tue Jun 22 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

313 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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