IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems and state which one do you think is better. Give reasons and relevant examples for your answer.

#countries #marriages #parents #cases #people #marriage #partner #systems
Marriage
 is an unforgettable event in everyone’s life.it is believed by some
individuals
 that , all the arrangements regarding marriages should be done by guardians, while others perceive that
individuals
 should have the right to select their companions.
This
 essay will examine both the arguments and draws a logical conclusion in the end. To commence with, some people deem that marriages should be managed by
parents
 ,because they have lived half of their
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 in
marriage
Add an article
the marriage
a marriage
show examples
 relationship.
hence
, they have more knowledge about , how to find
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
 partner for their children in terms of ;behaviour, characteristics and traits because
this
things
Change the determiner
thing
show examples
 matters the most while selecting
parents
.
Parents
also
 believe that adults are too young to understand
this things
Change the determiner
this thing
these things
show examples
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 why
parents
 ought to pick companion for youngsters.
For instance
,
Change preposition
in India
show examples
India
Replace the word
Indian
show examples
marriage
are not happen
Change the verb form
does not happen
show examples
 between 2
individuals
 they happen with 2 families and that’s why in India
parents
 always show interference when it comes to
choose
Change the verb form
choosing
show examples
 partners for their own children.
On the other hand
, some people think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
individuals
 should be the one who selects their own partners because mutual
understand
Change the form of the verb
understanding
show examples
 between two persons should be prioritised the most.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 there are some other factors too which
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
 role in selecting
soulmate
Correct article usage
a soulmate
show examples
.
Firstly
, educational qualifications should be the same between the two who ties the know so they do not feel superiority complex.
Secondly
, before getting married couples should stay with each
another
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 in
live in
Add a hyphen
live-in
show examples
 relationship term which is in the trend recently.
However
, I personally believe that
marriage
 is a
person
Replace the word
personal
show examples
 decision and
individuals
 should take responsibility to select their partners because of
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 reasons. In conclusion,
parents
also
 play
indispensable
Add an article
an indispensable
show examples
 role in children’s life but after
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
age
Add a comma
,age
show examples
 they should give their children chances
made
Change the verb form
to make
show examples
 their own verdicts.
Submitted by Shaunak Desai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: