IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the number of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the present age, there has been much discussion surrounding whether sending emails and text messages has a negative impact on an individual's social
life
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. Some
people
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 claim that
people
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 spend less time with their friends because of those contemporary means of
communication
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. Personally, I totally agree with the statement that modern forms of
communication
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 have reduced the time that
people
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 spend meeting each other.
Firstly
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, excessive use of social media and dependence on emails and texting have caused many
people
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 to gradually lose their ability to socialize. There is a direct relation between health problems and social
life
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, which means that social media addicts who are isolated and unable to communicate with anyone are more likely to feel lonely all the time
,
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apply
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 and
that
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loneliness increases mental problems
such
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 as depression and anxiety.
For example
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, many studies have shown that
people
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 who depend on social networks not only have difficulty integrating into the community
,
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 but are
also
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 susceptible to mental and physical illnesses
such
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 as eye problems and sleep disorders.
Secondly
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, good
communication
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 skills play a much more important role in the development of a person’s
life
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 than writing a good email.
This
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 means that
people
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 with good
communication
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 skills will help them build real relationships with others and provide them with quality relationships. Face-to-face meetings help connect
people
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 with each other
instead
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 of impersonal text messages or emails.
In addition
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, good social skills
also
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 show up in careers.
For example
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, an employee who regularly interacts and connects with other colleagues is more likely to receive referrals from them and will be promoted more easily. In conclusion, I believe that social applications have a number of disadvantages. It touches
people
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's wellness and that brings a huge loss in one's
life
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as well as
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 lowering
people
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's social abilities in a negative way.

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task achievement
Try to provide a few more specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, mentioning specific studies or statistics can make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate a little more on how modern communication methods specifically decrease the time spent seeing friends. Adding a sentence or two directly addressing this can enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with well-defined paragraphs and a smooth flow of ideas, which makes it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively reflect the essay's main argument, providing a strong starting and ending point.
task achievement
The points made are relevant to the topic and show a comprehensive understanding of the issue, ensuring the essay stays on task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital communication
  • face-to-face interactions
  • superficial relationships
  • social bonds
  • non-verbal cues
  • text-based communication
  • tone of voice
  • facial expressions
  • body language
  • digital presence
  • real-life relationships
  • deterioration
  • long-distance relationships
  • misunderstandings
  • emotional richness
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