Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their wealth and glamour rather than their achievements, and this sets bad example to young people. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that many celebrities receive attention mainly for their wealth, luxurious lifestyles, and glamorous appearances rather than for meaningful achievements.
Although
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some may disagree with
this
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, I support the view that
this
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trend sets a bad example for young
people
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due to
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several important reasons, which will be examined in
this
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essay. One of the most obvious reasons is that
this
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phenomenon encourages materialistic values among the younger generation. To illustrate, when young
people
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constantly see celebrities being admired for expensive cars, designer clothes, and lavish lifestyles, they may begin to believe that money and fame are the ultimate measures of success.
For instance
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, teenagers may dream of becoming famous influencers
instead
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of developing real skills or pursuing education.
As a result
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, they may place less importance on hard work, perseverance, and personal development. Another point that should not be overlooked is that focusing on glamour rather than achievement can reduce young
people
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’s motivation to contribute positively to society. To clarify, celebrities who gain popularity without clear accomplishments may create the impression that success can be achieved without effort.
For example
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, young
people
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may compare themselves to famous personalities who appear to become rich quickly and feel discouraged about traditional career paths
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such
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, such
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as becoming teachers, engineers, or scientists.
This
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can weaken society’s respect for professions that require dedication and long-term commitment. To recapitulate, it is evident that the increasing emphasis on celebrities’ wealth and glamour promotes unhealthy values and unrealistic expectations among young
people
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.
Therefore
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, it is necessary that greater attention be given to promoting role models who are admired for their genuine achievements,
such
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as athletes, researchers, and community leaders, in order to inspire young
people
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in a more positive way.

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Task response
Be clear on your view in the first sentence.
Content
Give more specific examples that support your points.
Coherence
Use simple link words to show how ideas connect.
Structure
Check that every paragraph has one main idea and a simple point.
Task response
The essay keeps a clear view that agrees with the prompt.
Structure
There is a clear intro, body and ending.
Content
Examples are used to explain points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • achievements
  • skewed values
  • aspirations
  • media
  • highlighting
  • philanthropy
  • raising awareness
  • role models
  • success
  • hard work
  • talent
  • dedication
  • appearances
  • luxurious lifestyle
  • public's expectations
  • mental health issues
  • influence
  • fields
  • counterargument
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