Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #books #tv #computer #games #children

For years, reading

books

has been a

dominated

Replace the word

dominant

show examples

way of entertainment for

children

However

, with the popularity of various electronic devices,

children

can

also

spend their leisure time watching

and playing

computer

games

. I partly agree with the view held by some people that reading stories in

books

is a better use of time than watching

or playing

computer

games

. Admittedly,

and

computer

games

appear to be more stimulating and engaging since they combine auditory and visual information together. The well-designed visual animation, recorded music, together with flexible interactions of electronic activities could easily attract

children

’s attention and stimulate their study interest.

For example

, some educational channels on

not only provide entertainment but

also

impart knowledge and information.

Nevertheless

, the benefits of reading in

books

could outweigh those of watching

or playing electronic

games

to some extent.

Firstly

books

expand

imagination

Add an article

the imagination

show examples

. To be more specific,

books

allows

children

themselves to make up the character’s voices and paint the pictures in their own way rather than sitting in front of a screen and simply enjoying the directors’ painting.

Therefore

, during the reading process, enough imagination space

are

Change the verb form

show examples

there for

children

to develop their creative thinking and even critical thinking.

In addition

books

, though not always even in quality, are far more psychologically beneficial than

or video

games

. Compared to

or video

games

, to which

children

could easily become addicted,

book

Add an article

the book

a book

show examples

can really be paused since readers could pick right back up where they left off.

Moreover

books

are ends in themselves. Compared with

and

computer

games

that are created mainly for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

entertainment purpose,

books

are written not for the purpose of achieving something else but only to communicate great ideas of life, of death, of struggle. Given

this

kind of nature,

books

are a better way for

children

to get positive values and knowledge.

Thus

, without addiction and negative information,

books

could provide

children

healthy

grow

Replace the word

growing

show examples

up. In conclusion, even though

children

are fond of electronic activities more than

books

, I am convinced that

and video

games

pale in comparison with

books

and

children

should

spent

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

more time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

reading.

Submitted by Esther on Fri Jun 25 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

359 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it would be better for companies to take care of their employees’ health. Others believe that companies should spend money on other aspects of work, such as salary increases, bonuses and extra time off. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Recently, abortion increases rapidly and becomes a controversial topic. Some people suppose that abortion should be legal while others are against it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

People are encouraged to get rid of things in order to get newest fashion and latest technologies. Do the disadvantages of throwaway society outweigh the economic advantages?

Experts believe that over the next decade, robots will be doing many of the jobs currently done by humans. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.