IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries,there is a growing gap between the technical skills of younger people and those over the age of fifty.What problems does this cause, and what solutions could minimise the problems?

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Nowadays, we know how
medicine
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 is fundamental ,due
also
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 to the situation we are living
.
Change preposition
in .
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Medicine
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 can be related to society ,with all the lifestyle
problems
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 that can take in every country of the world at different levels .
Although
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 the availability of
medicine
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 is improving ,unfortunately in some
countries
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 is the opposite. These towns ,more specifically ,the poorest ones,
such
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 as Africa ,don’t have the possibility to be cured in Hospitals, because there are not enough or there are only far from where they live . I think that in all the world there is an imbalance between rich snd poor
countries
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 but
also
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 that a considerable impact between public and private medical services is a really strong question that governments have to debate on . The problem in the lifestyle-related health
problems
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 in the poor
countries
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,
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apply
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is just the possibility that there are not a lot of services or doctors able to cure all the issues and especially the prices are really high and most of the inhabitants are not in a position to pay the medical
problems
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 . I think that
this
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 is really a big problem ,because ,as I said before ,there is a strong difference and the poor
countries
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 can do nothing against
problems
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 because there isn’t enough money . To improve the situation I think that the rich States have to contribute and create new places to cure health
problems
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 ,especially for babies that mostly die after birth because of bad conditions
such
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 as hunger or thirst . I know
that is
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 really difficult to do and easy to say , but I hope that one day
this
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 inequality will reduce soon and the access to
medicine
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 will be available for every country in the world and the rich one understand how important are the words , donation , humanity and health .

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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