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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, there is a growing gap between the technical skills of younger people and those over the age of fifty. What problems does this cause, and what solutions could minimize the problems?

#countries #gap #skills #people #age #fifty
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In many countries, has been calculated a growth between the technological skills of younger
people
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 and those over the age of fifty.
This
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 is
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
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 due
of
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to
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 the period in which the
two
Add a hyphen
two-generation
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generation
Change to a plural noun
generations
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 were born: the young
people
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 were born in a time where the
technology
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 was already in development,
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instead
Add a comma
,instead
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 the “old”
people
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 were born when the
technology
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 was just born. From the general
problem
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,problem
show examples
 we can understand that the effect that
this
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 issue may bring is a future world based on
technology
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.
First
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 of all, one problem is that nowadays only young
people
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 can understand
technology
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 because they are growing up with
this
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.
This
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 is an issue
Change the form of the verb
caused
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cause
Correct your spelling
caused
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 when
an
Correct article usage
apply
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old
people
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 have difficulties with
technological
Add an article
the technological
a technological
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 instrument, they need to call someone younger to help them. A solution for
this
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 can be
to
Replace the word
too
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 organized some courses with the aim to teach
also
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 old human being how to
use
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technology
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 and to make it understandable to all generation.
On the other hand
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, the
use
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 of
technology
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 is not good for the planet
in
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on
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 which we are leaving
in
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apply
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because there is an enormous
consume
Replace the word
consumption
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 of energy. A solution for
this
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, since we cannot eliminate
technology
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 entirely, we can
use
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 it as little as possible or
use
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 it for half our work. In
this
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 way we can guarantee a better world for the future generations
otherwise
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, if we continue to
use
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technology
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 for all kind of our activities, we will destroy our world. To conclude and to sum up all the solution for the initial problem, we can say that could be organized some courses to make
technology
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 more understandable to all human beings and we as
people
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 can minimize the
use
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 of
technology
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 to make our planet happier.
Submitted by silyakar on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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