The family has a great influence on children's development, but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children's life. Do you agree or dis agress?

#influence #children #development #home #part #life #dis #agress

It is suggested that

children

are influenced bigger by factors from outside the home than from their family. I disagree with

this

statement because I believe that these two influences have equal impacts on the growth of

children

. It is undeniable that parenting is crucial for

children

’s development. Admittedly, parents could mould

children

’s characters and personalities during their growth.

For example

, most modern parenting

style

Change to a plural noun

styles

show examples

include

Change the verb form

includes

show examples

how to make

children

aware that some differences of thoughts and

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

are norms, and

then

learn to respect them and stand in other person’s shoes, which can cultivate

children

’s empathy, contributing to social skills.

Furthermore

children

who are equipped with excellent social skills are able to communicate with others effectively so that they could get along well with their classmates and teachers, building

strong

Add an article

a strong

show examples

bond with them. More importantly, people who cultivate interpersonal skills in childhood are likely to have a good relationship with their colleagues and leaders, benefiting their future work and life.

Nevertheless

, influence from outside the family is

also

crucial for

children

Firstly

, it is common to see that some online media are unintentionally saturated with excessive pornography and violence, and using online media is a part of

lifestyle

Add an article

the lifestyle

show examples

children

Therefore

, they are likely to be attracted by these unhealthy contents because of curiosity. As

children

are too immature to have the capacity to distinguish the right and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

evil, they might imitate the

misbehaviors

Change the spelling

misbehaviours

show examples

such

as stealing, which could make them go astray, and even become jailbirds. As discussed above, due to their

deeply

Replace the word

deep

show examples

influence on different aspects of future life, impacts from family are as important as the influence from outside the family.

Submitted by mingxin.li on Sat Jun 26 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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The family has a great influence on children's development, but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children's life. Do you agree or dis agress?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for the country, while others disagree. Do the benefits of hosting a major sporting event outweight the drawbacks?

In today's world, many pople own a smartphone.Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinge upon one’s privacy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decades. This has made oversea travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast foods. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?