The family has a great influence on children's development, but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children's life. Do you agree or dis agress?

It is suggested that
children
are influenced bigger by factors from outside the home than from their family. I disagree with
this
statement because I believe that these two influences have equal impacts on the growth of
children
. It is undeniable that parenting is crucial for
children
’s development. Admittedly, parents could mould
children
’s characters and personalities during their growth.
For example
, most modern parenting
style
Change to a plural noun
styles
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include
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includes
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how to make
children
aware that some differences of thoughts and
behaviors
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behaviours
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are norms, and
then
learn to respect them and stand in other person’s shoes, which can cultivate
children
’s empathy, contributing to social skills.
Furthermore
,
children
who are equipped with excellent social skills are able to communicate with others effectively so that they could get along well with their classmates and teachers, building
strong
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a strong
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bond with them. More importantly, people who cultivate interpersonal skills in childhood are likely to have a good relationship with their colleagues and leaders, benefiting their future work and life.
Nevertheless
, influence from outside the family is
also
crucial for
children
.
Firstly
, it is common to see that some online media are unintentionally saturated with excessive pornography and violence, and using online media is a part of
lifestyle
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the lifestyle
show examples
of
children
.
Therefore
, they are likely to be attracted by these unhealthy contents because of curiosity. As
children
are too immature to have the capacity to distinguish the right and
the
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apply
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evil, they might imitate the
misbehaviors
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misbehaviours
show examples
such
as stealing, which could make them go astray, and even become jailbirds. As discussed above, due to their
deeply
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deep
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influence on different aspects of future life, impacts from family are as important as the influence from outside the family.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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