People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #illnesses #lifestyles #diets #health #care

Person’s

Correct article usage

A person’s

show examples

health

conditions are often related to his/her way of life, for that reason, some may argue that individuals who intentionally having unhealthy meals and self-destruct habit are subject to higher

health

services charge. I completely disagree with

this

opinion and think that medical care is one of human’s basic need and

governments

shall avoid unnecessary expense to identify bad-habitual persons.

Firstly

, every human has the same rights regardless of his/her lifestyles.

Moreover

, providing sufficient

health

facility and treatment

are

Change the verb form

show examples

one of

governments

Add an article

the governments

show examples

obligation to ensure their citizens’ basic needs are fulfilled.

Furthermore

, it is unfair if one’s routines

such

as their daily food consumption and behaviour are become determining factor while many other negative issues like driving recklessly that might lead to an accident is still neglected or not considered. Another point to consider is that having valid and reliable data regarding everyone lifestyle and food they consumed is not a simple task. These data need to be constantly updated, and to do so, it will require not only a huge number of human resource but

also

time-consuming, and

this

will be resulting another inevitably expense for

governments

This

unnecessary expensive cost can be avoided simply by imposing a policy that equals

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

everybody regardless of their way of life. In conclusion, I strongly feel that

governments

should avoid imposing higher fees of medical treatment based on people’s lifestyle or food they consumed.

This

is simply because receiving

health

treatment is fundamental rights for all humans, and government can make a saving by having a policy that applies to everyone.

Submitted by muhamad.herwindo on Sun Jun 27 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

burden
lifestyle-related diseases
healthcare systems
personal responsibility
preventable diseases
healthcare costs
ethical considerations
penalizing
discrimination
socio-economic groups
deterrent
health education
financial penalties
health inequalities
access to healthcare
preventive medicine
public health goals
promoting healthy lifestyles

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People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and preparatory methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans are facing in the 21st century and sea level is continuing to rise at alarming rates. What are the causes and some possible solutions to global warming?

Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. To what extent to you agree or disagree?