IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that education trip or excursion helps promote overall holistic learning. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #education #trip #excursion
According to a majority of the people, education trip or excursion encourages general holistic learning. Holistic learning assists in enhancing a child in an overall manner.
This
 essay
further
 discusses the viewpoint in the upcoming paragraphs followed by an opinion.
To begin
 with, by carrying out
expedition
Add an article
an expedition
the expedition
show examples
, students can gain
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
practical exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 whatever they study in the books. They experience
real world
Add a hyphen
real-world
show examples
 scenarios that
adds
Change the verb form
add
show examples
 to their critical-thinking skills.
For instance
, as per a study, toddlers between the age group of three to eight years who were taught about mammals and history from the books as well as by a visit to a zoo or a museum grasped the subject more effectively and efficiently as compared to others who studied from the notes itself.
Furthermore
, a comprehensive approach to learning makes a youngster confident and aware. To add on, there is an improvement in the development of an infant’s mind. He becomes positive and understands the concepts in a clearer and precise way. The younger ones can co-relate the theories they study at school. In my opinion, educational outings is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best technique to escalate the learning process of adolescents. They undergo the knowledge about their curriculum in a balanced route.
Hence
, I strongly agree with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
incorporating holistic learning. To conclude,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational institutions should promote and inculcate universal learning in the aggregate training of the offspring. Organising excursion has a
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the education process and advancement of kids. It is a useful aspect to be adapted.
Submitted by harsimrankaur2400 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: