IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Write about the following topic: Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #job #seekers #receipt #government #work #community
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Today a lot of countries provide social welfare to
people
Use synonyms
 which can support the long period
searching
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of searching
show examples
 for a job.
However
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, my firm conviction is that in return
services
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for services
show examples
 providing by authorities,
people
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 should be involved in community
work
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 for the betterment of not only society but
also
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the country. Attracting job-seekers could enhance the national spirit and educated
people
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 to be more responsive to different community's problem.
For instance
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, the huge number of sick children in hospitals need simple communication and moral support.
Hence
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, to attract individuals will get to know the problems faced by some persons and help volunteers to be more responsible towards his or her nation.
Moreover
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, if the children will learn new things in life and get positive emotions from other
people
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,
this
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 will
also
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 help them to feel better and may recover from their diseases. The organizationт of national events by the government
also
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 may improve the relationship of
people
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 to their country.
For example
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, taking part in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports event may develop feelings of pride in their country and contribute themselves to the tremendous event.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 kind of
work
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 could improve
organizational
Correct article usage
the organizational
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 skills of volunteers and the ability to
work
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 in a huge team for their future
work
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 experiences.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
 arrangement will help recipients of unemployment privileges to give something back to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, in lieu of support they receive, and aid in the government saving money
otherwise
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 spent on paying salaries to workers. To conclude, there are many pros of making the voluntary task compulsory for job-seekers who draw benefits from the states. I believe that voluntary
work
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 better than unemployment because it could develop
people
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 in social and emotional areas,
also
Linking Words
 to feel the belonging to activities of countries.
Submitted by Мария Сидельникова on

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